Alone...

I now realize something which has been right in front of my eyes, but never really did pay attention because of my clouded judgement. I'm only needed by you when you need something, or can't do anything on your own. Not even for a bloody normal conversation. As usual, I'm left out, nothing heard nor said.

So now, I've decided as strong emotionally as I am physically. Doing this next step is going to be the hardest thing to do, but its for the best I guess. To tell all of you the truth, I'm on the verge of a complete breakdown but being in a family of boys and having no one to depend on, seeing that everyone depends on me to do every fucking thing for them, I've developed nerves of steel.

Yet writing this, is already getting me chocked up and yeah. This is the final decision and nothing can change my mind, even if you change.

Time will never heal this...

Ladies and Gentlemen, I bid you Adure!

Ahh God Damn!

Why, Why can't I do anything right? I forgot, FORGOT THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY!!! Now, I've messed up big time! and I'm not even sure of myself.

Everywhere I turn, i get more and more clueless as to my purpose now. What the heck is going on with me, its not the same, just isn't no matter how much effort I put it. I don't even have the heart to give it all up. DAMN WUSS!!!

So be it, You can't be at 2 places at once...So, the next time, I wil try my best to confirm the outcome, and god-speed, I will get this settled once and for ALL!!!

Stupid, stupid, stupid..No damn guts

Ladies and Gentlemen, I bid you Adure!

Awesome Superb Chicken !!!!!

Omfg, I just mixed around and got a WICKED chicken recipe!!!! I'll upload the picture later but for now, bear with me. Here's the recipe: (I know I sound girlish but SCREW YOU, I LOVE COOKING!!!)

THE END PRODUCT:

Ingredients For Mush

2 thumb-size ginger pieces

1 whole garlic

3 chillies (padi preferably)

Sauces

Lea & Perrins Worcestershire sauce

Huck's Hikary and Brown Sugar BBQ sauce

Nandos Hot Peri-Peri Sauce

Extras

Absolute Vodka, you could use wine ( I know its a waste of good liquor but what the hell yeah)

Marinade

1. Smash the garlic, ginger and chilies together until a mush, add a little salt to this.

2. Defrost chicken and put into bowl

3. Mix sauces and mush together with chicken (Based on your own liking)

4. Heat up a pan, put in oil and butter (very very little, you will see why)

5. Brown the top of the chicken, skin side preferably

6. Remove the pieces of chicken and place in a plate

7. The remainder crisp and butter in the pan is made into a glaze by pouring some vodka into it, let the alcohol burn off. Place the glaze in a bowl after straining through strainer.

8. The remainder marinade & mush is strained. The liquid is mixed with the glaze, to make an EVEN BETTER GLAZE!!!!

9. Put the chicken into an oven at 200 degrees Celsius for 40 mins + - 10 mins (Check chicken)

10. Every 10 minutes, smother the glaze on top. If you have too much, toss it away.

11. Cook until meat inside is edible ( Break the chicken to check with knife and fork)
12. ENJOY!!!!

Privilege...

Ahh well, from the topic above, I think you guys know what I'm talking bout. So yeah, being the 2nd in line, in family of course, I've come to realize the many privileges the first born gets.

I don't know why this happens but yeah, it could be a tradition from biblical times, where the first born was often revered. Guess what, It still is going on.....

What i realize is that, the first born escapes with literally everything with minimum punishment or so, but the exact opposite for the 2nd born. Simple stuff, day to day life things which can be carried out by everyone, is often pushed to the 2nd born.

Why you may ask? Simple, the 2nd born is less significant, because he came 2nd, just another ordinary child, unlike the first born which is taken as a gift from god himself...but aren't all of us children of God? God's Gift? Well yeah, and often, the 2nd born doesn't get to decide nor get a say in any decision makings. It will just be shoved to the back of deaf ears....

As my mum was saying, "Your older brother is more special, not to say that all of you are not special, its just that he is MORE special" You can only imagine the hurt I felt when she said this. But what to do eh? I actually get her cuz he was a miracle baby and all, but tht doesn't mean he can be treated like a king right? He doesn't do the dishes nor clean the house, Gets to go out without say and STAY OVER!!

What happens to the 2nd born? Put to fill in the gaps...Do dishes, clean the home and confined in a jail box!!! IT PISSES ME OFF!!! Nothing more to say....

Ladies and Gentlemen, I bid you Adure!

Owh the pain!

Well, 2nd day of Extra Class, not too bad tho...cuz it was only 2 hours of Math...LOVE TRIGO!!! Damn My nerdy side got the better of me..*Locks the nerd in a box* Owhkay, now back to normal Affro Indian!

SOOO yeah, math and stuff...After that, went for water polo "Passing" which turned out to be WORKOUT!!! YEah was I pumped!! We, (Me, Ben, JayJay, Xin You, Lester and coach Chan) did a lot on the tension strings and focused on triceps...By the end of the workout, we couldn't even lift our arms! Yes we tried lifting...It took us a lot of effort and our usual constipated face...=D

Then after the workout, Coach asked us to top it off with push ups...Owh the pain we had to endure...but what the heck eh? So wide-hand, Close-hand triceps and Diamond or as Coach says "Strawberry" hahaha! So yeah we did 10 of each with our arms trembling. After that, he asked us to do a special super surprise workout, All the push-ups above at a go for 10 times each = =, I managed to do 8 only...

Im not worried now, I'm worried bout the pain we will have to endure summore after our goodnight's sleep....DENG!

Why am I such a Fool? Damn!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I bid you Adure!

First day of Holiday

Its the HOLIDAYS!!! Not much fun when you're detained at home till AFTER SPM!! What kinda rule/punishment is this man...Freaking messed up!

So yeah, first day of hols started with extra class in the morning..= =...Great ain't it?? SOOO, yeah, alarm clock went off at 7 o clock but guess what, I woke up at 8.10....Just the way I like it, LATE! So called up Ben, didn't pick up, called up Ugly Yoong also didn't pick up, Finally i put my trust in Shuk Yin, she picked up and I guess she was not surprised I was in sleepy mode...They were all in skewl alrdy...Super = =

Rushed to shower and off to skewl, reached at 8.30...Well sejarah was entertaining and educational while add math was rather boring, I had no1 to talk to man...Pretty messed up right? So I was quiet all the way through...Aih! Another thing, during the add math break, I went to Sc2 so yeah, Ivan was sleeping so we (me and Ben) decided to have some fun....Ben drew on his fingernails with marker, while i drew a smiley face on his cheek, it was classic la!!! CLASSIC!!! and he didn't even realize until he wiped his cheek on his shirt and saw the smudge! HAHA!!

Walked back to find tuition was about to start...Great, just great...And now, I'm posting this to put you guys in my shoes...SUCH A BORING HOLIDAY

Now what? I wish it just happened

Ladies and Gentlemen, I bid you Adure!

I'm so so sorry readers!

Guys and girls, *looks at wei yeen*

I'm so sorry I haven't updated my blog without any prior notice to anyone. It's just that a lot of shit has been going on with me. Confusion, Chaos and....well you get the point. I made a silent promise to myself to refrain from my blog, even though its nothing much, until all my problems were settled.

Most of my problems have been settled by the help of many people. To avoid any nosy fools, I shall not tell their names, but basically the biggest pain in my ass was solved just 2 weeks ago sooo...WOOHOO!!!!! AND AND! EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!!!!

But somehow, I miss last minute shit the exam week dished out for us... the chaos and utter fear, whoosh what a rush, and since your hyper for only sleeping like 4 hours in total for 3 days...I know some have beaten my record here but I'M HYPER SO SUE ME!!!!

Well, I promise to update my blog more often and and WELCOME TO THE WORLD S.M.C Clan! All my Macha's and Yellow Bradders! Ahh well, long live it yeah....

Im caught in between both, Now what?

Ladies and gentlemen, I bid you Adure